Who is this lady on everyone's coins?

So... I have a little coffee can full of coins from every corner of the Earth (truly a feat because the Earth is indeed spherical), and I've noticed an alarming trend.

Tell me what you think coins from these countries/territories might have in common:

Fiji
Canada
East Caribbean States
Australia
Hong Kong (Pre-China return)

...Okay... do you have it? Have you used your powers of extrapolation to uncover the mystery of what these places could possibly do on all of their respective currency?



Very good! On the coins from all of these countries is a picture of some old bint possibly sporting a fancy hat. Now, you might ask yourself, "How could this old woman possibly be from all of these countries at once?"

It's a valid question, to be sure. Most people only identify with one country. In fact, this particular old woman only identifies with one country as well: She is from the country that at one point or another dominated all of the aforementioned regions. She is the Queen of Olde England.

"But Dave, why would people willingly display a picture reminiscent of their one-time oppressors on their currency?" you might ask. Well, I'd imagine it's the same reason that US $20 bills, complete with portrait of Andrew Jackson, are still legal tender on Indian Reservations. Nobody cares enough to do anything about it.

But honestly, how much of a lame-ass country do you have to be that you can't even have pictures of your own national heroes on your coinage? I mean, sure, it might be a bit of a reach to get a different national hero for each different Fijian coin, but if I were from Fiji I'd rather have "Umpala the guy who fixes the government building TV when it breaks" than Queen Elizabeth on my coin. Failing national heroes, at least put someone attractive on your coin! So long as you have a few cents and some privacy you'd never get bored. The Queen does not fill this need.

And as for Canada, just about anyone in media that Americans like is from Canada, which gives them plenty of options for coin material. I'm aware that a Celine Dion coin would probably prompt most Canadians to forgo currency altogether, but what about the William Shatner Loonie? John Candy Nickel? Jim Carrey Dime? Michael Myers Penny? Put Sarah Chalke on a quarter and I'd probably never spend one again!

Australians could put Steve Irwin on their dollars, and then make up for not having many more remarkable folks (or folks at all) in their country by using all of their remarkable animals as filler for the rest of their coins. Still way better than the Queen.

Even the UK should ditch the Queen and roll out a new series of Monty Python Pounds. Tell me John Cleese wouldn't look a lot more convincing on a tenpence and I'll tell you you're a fool.